You might be sitting in a quiet room, having a normal conversation, or walking through your day like everything’s fine. Yet, your body feels on edge, and your thoughts are scattered. Your shoulders are tense, and your breath feels shallow. Deep down, you’re waiting for something to go wrong.

If this feels familiar, what you’re experiencing might be a lack of felt safety in your nervous system.

What Does It Mean to “Feel Safe”?

Feeling safe isn’t just about physical danger; it’s about emotional and psychological safety. It feels like knowing:
    •    You’re allowed to relax
    •    You won’t be judged or punished for who you are
    •    You’re not walking on eggshells
    •    Your body, mind, and identity are respected

For many people, especially if you’re neurodivergent, LGBTQIA+, or have a history of trauma, that sense of safety might not come easily and may not have ever felt natural.

Why You Might Not Feel Safe (Even If You “Should”)

There are a few common reasons why your body might stay in a state of alert or unease:

    •    Past trauma that hasn’t been fully processed
(things like bullying, parentification, or toxic dynamics can live in the body)

    •    Neurodivergence (like ADHD or autism), which can lead to sensory overload, rejection sensitivity, or being misunderstood in social spaces

    •    Ongoing stress or burnout that keeps your nervous system in a state of hypervigilance

    •    Microaggressions or identity-based stress, especially if you’re part of a marginalised community

It’s not always one big, obvious “event.” Sometimes it’s the cumulative effect of years of not being emotionally safe.

🔗 The Autistic and ADHD Nervous System

What It Feels Like to Be in Survival Mode

When you don’t feel safe, your nervous system might default to protection. This happens even when the threat isn’t clear or visible.

You might notice:
    •    Trouble making decisions (a sign of decision fatigue)
    •    Constant scanning for danger or judgment
    •    Disconnection from your body or emotions
    •    Feeling “numb,” frozen, or shut down
    •    Getting easily overwhelmed or irritable

This is not a flaw in you; it is just your body’s adaptation. 

Therapy as a Safe Space to Reconnect

I work with clients who often feel unsafe, not necessarily because they’re doing something wrong, but because the world hasn’t always been a safe place for them.

Together, we can explore:
    •    What safety feels like in your body (and how to reconnect with it)
    •    Where those protective patterns come from and how to soften them
    •    How to navigate real-world situations that still carry risk, tension, or threat
    •    How to self-regulate and co-regulate with others

You don’t have to have a “trauma story” to seek or deserve support. If your nervous system feels wired, shut down, or constantly on guard, reach out.

🔗 My Approach | Book a Free Consultation

Final Thoughts

Safety isn’t a luxury, it’s a basic human need. You deserve to experience it not just occasionally, but consistently, in your body, in your relationships, and your life.